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THE REAL CANCUN
Review by Dr. Exacto |
| I am here to say that the oscar for best documentary goes to...THE REAL CANCUN. My god, this was an amazing film. I really went into this thinking bad things, I mean, c'mon, "The Real World" with un-blurred tits. Puh-lllease. Stimulate my brain! And let me tell you, The Real Cancun stimulates the cerebral cortex more than any hack work of a Kubrick a Fellini or even that overrated Kurosawa guy. I knew that this film was going to be a gem as soon as I entered the theatre and found a sparse crowd of maybe three, fifty something year old guys all sitting isolated and wearing raincoats. "Ah! This must be a fine film, for it is not loaded with the kiddy types but the artists of the city! The raincoats are sure to be some statement!", I thought, my heart throbbing with joy. "These are film connesuieurs, here to regale in the beauty of cinematic art!" Finally I was among my peers. All of this I knew and the movie hadnt even started yet!!! :) AND LET ME TELL YOU ONCE IT DID I WISHED IT WOULD NEVER END!
Okay, lemme give it to you straight: this movie broke all the rules! It tore down the walls, and smashed the conventions of what cinema could and should be. This film redefined for me what it means to be a male in our American, sex-dominated society. This film broke cliches, rules and walls never before touched upon! It even broke rules I didn't know existed! :):):) And the real beauty was there wasn't a single explosion, or senseless murder! It was all about passionate love of the masses, and free spirits, as women cast aside their male-imprisonment clothings and went about the way God intended them to be! I could tell the audience agreed with me cause I could hear them rustling with excitement. I think one of them even cried, because right after the passionate love making of Dre and Teresa I felt something wet on the back of my neck. Anyway, do yourself a favor! If you like to see what a beautiful art form cinema can be, make sure to check out the loving portrait of american youth, and a generation's quest for acceptance in a time of bitter perseverance. Thank god for a place like the United States where such cinema can still be made! U! S! A! U! S! A! Sincerely, P.S. I didnt really see much of it, actually...I went in to see how much I could take before disemboweling everything in sight..and I lasted about 5 minutes...but, whatever, writing reviews isn't rocket science, I dont have to actually SEE the movie... |
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| The Real Cancun is 90 minutes long and is rated R for "strong sexuality/nudity, language and partying". It stars a bunch of stupid, stupid fucks for whom fifteen minutes of fame is sixteen minutes too long. This movie is rock-solid proof that the terrorists have won. MTV, the cast, and everyone else involved in this brain-dead ass-spackle should be chemically castrated for the betterment of our species, if not outright assassinated.If you enjoy this movie, congratulations. You have shit for brains. -MBA |
