by Pod Movie Database 11.06.08
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FRAQ for
John's Arm: Armageddon(2008)
What exactly is "FRAQ" supposed to mean, is it a typo?
FRAQ most likely stands for Flagrantly Rhetorically Asked Questions. Who cares really. Not a lot of thought was put into it.
What's up with the whole "Magic 8-Ball up his ass" thing?
This phrase appears not only in JA:A, but in the short "Animals Are F***ing Crazy" (2004). The theory, first explored there, is that the humor and impact of spoken profanities come largely from their sibilants and obstruents. Both the words "shit" and "fuck", when spoken aloud, contain a forceful build-up to a percussive finish. This is a major part of why they've endured for centuries as invectives. It's also why they effectively scared the daylights out of the old lady in a tiny car that nearly ran me down in a crosswalk the other day. I swear, it seems like every time I go out I end up screaming at an old woman.
Anyway, the idea is finding new words and phrases that explore and enhance this method of sibilant-driven humorous profanities. This is where phrases such as "Jesus eatin' fajitas, Jacobs" come in; it's specifically built as a rhythmic device for delivering the line. Same deal with the 8-Ball line, and the line about "Full-Blown AIDS-Burg", and obviously the Felcher monologue, which is also a bunch of intentional tongue-twisters.
Again with the pee-drinking? Do you have a fetish?
No. Drinking piss is something that makes almost everybody instinctively retch, just at the thought. I'm sure there are people out there who actually don't, so I added a little extra something to make even them sick. And it's 40 seconds, which doesn't seem like a long time, until you're spending it watching someone drink piss uninterrupted.
Additionally, I "thought it would be lol" if some joker figured I had a piss fetish, based upon this and "Is It Lemonade Or Urine?" (2002).
Did someone actually drink pee?
Nobody actually drank pee. I drank a plastic cup full of warm Atlanta tap water, which was very easy to gag on. Some people would argue that I would have been better off drinking actual pee.
The bonghits in the movie are authentic, although they weren't performed by the actor who voiced the relevant hitter. We didn't actually huff gasoline or paint, however. Just duster.
What are the 10,000 Ordeals of Zingo?
They can't be listed individually here, obviously, so here's the jist, more or less:
Legends of the Wakamolian people say that a Greathorn named Zingo the Pointy promised deliverance to their "sacred paradise" of Vootliff, which is, in reality, their planet's moon. Some time ago, Zingo departed Wakamolia for Vootliff, along with a tiny crew consisting of Dord (the Dulled) and Klubbo (the Blunt).
Upon reaching the surface of Vootliff, Zingo was beset upon by the monsterous inhabitants of the moon, who asked him to leave. These beings explained that they were very tired of Wakamolians and their pilgrimages. Zingo repeated that he was Zingo the Pointy, and told them that Vootliff was his people's birthright. Despite continued urgings and suggestions, as well as the introduction of evidence that previous invaders had been violently massacred (i.e., The Vootliff Massacres, as mentioned by Bonk), Zingo flatly refused to leave. Thus, the native beings decided to make an example of Zingo, and the Ordeals began in earnest.
By the ancient texts accredited to Zingo's crewmen, it appears that the terrible space monsters that live on Vootliff (whatever they may be, Wakamolians are forbidden from depicting them by religious law) tried to make Zingo leave by doing mean and nasty things to him, and by the time these things numbered 10,000 he finally croaked. His crew, witness to the whole thing, promptly hauled ass back home, where they tattled to any who would listen. So was born one of the foundation mythos of the modern Wakamolian people.
Despite the 100% chance of being ritually slaughtered, many Wakamolians attempt the Vootliff pilgrimage every year.
What is SECURE?
SECURE is an American peacekeeping force so secretive that no one actually knows what the acronym means. Kap'n Kill-Krazy and Heartbreaker have worked as SECURE operatives since the 1970s, excepting the period that Kap'n was cryogenically frozen. SECURE believes in the preservation and protection of American freedom at all cost.
SECURE utilizes cloning technology to fill its ranks, as does its enemy T.O.A.D. (Terrorists Opposing American Domination). Kap'n has never been cloned, but it is rumored that Heartbreaker has. The front line infantry is largely cloned from Kid Kill-Krazy, although Kid himself is not a clone, as far as he can tell.
Who is "The Insomniac"?
A former gangster, birth name Edgar McGurn. He first appeared in the short "Brunch With A Supervillain"(2001). In 1959, he unintentionally double-crossed his bosses, had a hefty price put on his head, and has not slept or otherwise napped since. Unbeknownst to McGurn, his would-be killers died ages ago. Now, the decades of sleeplessness and unceasing caffeine abuse have taken their toll, and McGurn is unpredictable, addled, and wrinkled like a Sharpei on meth. As The Insomniac, he spontanteously appears in public places, intentions always unclear, and brandishes objects that may or may not be weapons of a sort. Recently, a cult has somehow formed around him, and he has taken to wearing a flowing white robe. His acolytes forego sleep as a rule, which makes them not only as unpredictable as their master, but easy to shove to the ground.
Who is Ernesto?
Ernesto is a department store mannequin that John's Arm talks to like a friend. He/it was first seen in the fourth John's Arm short, "Armed And Dangerous"(2003). John's Arm isn't any better at making friends than John is, so he acquired "Ernesto" somehow (originally to make John jealous), and he has been known to bake for, and discuss literature with, the mannequin. John's Arm occasionally speaks as Ernesto, which infuriates John. John once kicked a football into Ernesto's face, knocking his head out the window, but it has since returned. Now John's Arm keeps Ernesto more or less out of John's sight.
Who are the hostile green guys at the end?
Hyperbolean warriors from the planet Hyperbolea. Note the "funnels" on the tops of their heads; that is an external organ unique to their species that grants them their exaggerative powers. They are naturally annoying and nobody can stand them for more than a few seconds. For this reason, the bulk of the Wakamolian defense budget is spent on eradicating them.
Hyperboleans appeared in the very first John's Arm short, way back when, aptly titled "John's Arm Meets The Hyperboleans"(2001). The Fatigati Cluster, a section of the Milky Way that contains Wakamolia, Hyperbolea and Earth, makes travel between our three solar systems somewhat easier, owing to the gravitational signature of a curve in a wormhole (the Gillen Leapway). This is how Wakamolians in light starships can reach their moon and Earth, how John's Arm could fly to Hyperbolea, and how Earth and its moon are in the path of Wakamolia's ultimate weapon, Oblivionicus Maximus, with which they hope to obliterate Hyperbolea.
Hyperbolean spies monitor all activity involving Oblivionicus, so that upon its destruction, warriors can be instantly dispatched to Wakamolia to invade the Tower of the Grandhorn, and force the Horned Council to accept intragalactic terms of surrender. Wakamolian armies have attacked Hyperbolea many times (it's kind of a punching-bag planet), but have never been able to establish a solid foothold there, even on one of its many moons. Earth sees minimal attention from either civilization; Wakamolians consider it a "garbage ball".
A Hyperbolean appears on the DVD cover and poster, in the lower left hand corner. He doesn't have a name, but you can make one up if you want. I call him Froody.
What are the salad pits of Croutonia?
One of the worst punishments a Wakamolian can receive from the Grandhorn is one or more lifetimes banished to the wild continent of Croutonia, mining (or "tossing", in the vernacular) salad, a leafy, slimy fungus that grows in the endless interconnecting pits underground. Salad is prized by Wakamolians for its restorative properties, though it does cause aberrant side effects when consumed in too great a quantity. Longtime salad miners can be identified by their bone-white fur, caused by prolonged exposure to raw salad (and lack of sunlight). By hilarious coincidence, these miners are pejoratively called "honkey salad-tossers".
The only worse sentence is turd mining. The less said about it the better.
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At left: the original unpublished and unfinished comic page featuring Bonk, which was later rewritten into the JA:A script with most of the dialogue intact. Circa 2002.
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Who is Avunculus?
Avunculus is an extremely powerful dark god that normally resides in extra-dimensional space. He is foul-tempered, vengeful, and vaguely resembles an uncle. Little about him is known to mortals, but he does occasionally visit our world, usually for nefarious purposes. Also strippers fascinate him.
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At left: the original unpublished and unfinished comic page featuring Avunculus, and "Who's Who In Evil", which would become MegaloManiaCon. Also note the mention of "Awful Murray", who appeared in the 4th JA short and briefly in JA:A, and Doomstorm, who also makes a cameo. Circa 2000.
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What is the movie playing in the theater with the bratty kids?
Skullfuckers 5000. Literally, the worst movie you could ever possibly show to a minor.
Is that it?
Not by a long shot; this is only Part I. To tide you over until Part II is posted in the future, here's an original Loofah-Lad strip, from the January 2000 issue of The Last Laugh. Note that the police chief's name is Felcher. That was probably the Mayor's brother or something. Beats me, it was eight years ago.
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